It All Started With A Big Beep
by WeBuiltThePyramids
Summary: What if Leonard and Penny - and the rest of the world - were able to know at the moment they met their soulmate that he or she was the person they were meant to be with? It's sure to scare the commitment - phobic Penny. Leonard is sure to be overzealous. Howard is creepy and Raj is depressed. Primarily a Leonard/Penny story, but there's some Shamy, Howard/Bernadette focus.
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is based off the movie TiMER, a mediocre movie with an incredibly interesting premise. People can get these displays implanted into their wrists called TiMERs, and they count down to the day that the person will meet his or her soulmate – providing their soulmate also has a TiMER, if not, theirs would just be blank. It reaches zero at midnight the night before you meet him or her, and at some point the next day, you'll make eye contact with your soulmate and both of your TiMERs will beep at the same time. I heard of the movie because my friend Amber was writing a TiMER fic for Warehouse 13 after reading another TiMER fic, and we both thought it would be cool if there was a TiMER story for Leonard and Penny. So here's the first chapter. Shamy and Howard/Bernadette will also be present in this fic.**

**I know I have The Sulfur Juxtaposition to update – that will more than likely happen tomorrow. I just had to get this one started.**

Disclaimer: I do not own the show, the characters, the movie from which I got the premise, or the premise itself. I just don't like to keep these things mint in box, it's a lot more fun to take them out and play with them.  


* * *

"Think of it this way," Sheldon said, as they climbed the stairs. "At least that ridiculous device didn't go off while you were in the sperm bank. Though come to think of it, that would have meant that you'd be destined to end up in the arms of a very intelligent man."

"But it doesn't make sense, Sheldon," said Leonard, shifting the Indian food to the other hand. "We know everyone in this building. I've met all of them since I was fourteen, meaning none of them are my soulmate. And we don't plan to leave the apartment for the rest of the day."

"Maybe the lights will go out and the new electrician will stop by," Sheldon said.

"We have a new electrician?" Leonard asked.

"I hope not," Sheldon responded. "Brad does an excellent job. But my point, which you seem to have missed, as usual, is that unless you are about to be thrust into the limelight as the sole example of why the TiMERs do not go off on the day they are supposed to, you will make eye contact with someone by midnight tonight and your TiMERs will both flash green, make that annoying sound, and you will abandon your dream of being a Nobel Prize winning scientist to have regular coitus. Better ignore that fortune telling device, accept it for the hokum that it is, and pursue that Nobel Prize dream and become the mediocre scientist that I know you can become, with just a little hard work."

"Thanks for the pep talk," Leonard said.

His roommate gave him a big smile. "You're welcome."

They reached the fourth floor, and didn't bother glancing to the right to see if Louie/Louise was exiting 4B. He'd moved out four days ago – a shame, Sheldon had said, that he wasn't Leonard's 'one'. He was a very organized person, the theoretical physicist said, and would be an ideal third roommate. Leonard, not wanting to be controversial, decided not to argue against the transvestite specifically and decided to point out to Sheldon that when he found his one, they would _not_ be living with Sheldon.

But then a flash of blue caught his eye, which made Leonard glance across the hall. Louie/Louise, in the four years they'd known him, had _never_ worn blue unless it was one of his police uniforms, and he didn't work on Mondays.

Across the hall was a woman, probably a hair or two taller than Leonard, in a blue shirt and jean shorts, looking at something in one of the many boxes that surrounded her.

"New neighbor?" Leonard said to Sheldon.

Sheldon wasn't impressed with his friend's powers of observation. "Evidently."

Leonard decided to ignore it. "Significant improvement over the old neighbor."

"We'll see how organized she is," Sheldon said.

The woman looked up then – she saw them watching her and she smiled. "Oh. Hi!"

Leonard opened his mouth to respond…but he was thrown off by the incessant beeping on his wrist. He looked down, then back up. The woman across the hall was staring at her own arm, her face white as a sheet. Leonard assumed that that wasn't her natural complexion. When she looked up and made eye contact a second time, he wondered if her eyes were always so wide.

They stood there in awkward silence for several seconds, both of them staring at each other, their TiMERs gradually calming down. The people to which the devices were implanted, however, were not so calm. Leonard pulled out his inhaler, shook it, and placed it in his mouth, feeling relieved as the medicine began to take effect. The blonde woman – _how had his TiMER gone off for this woman? She was nothing like he'd ever dated – not that he was complaining – and no one like that had ever shown any interest in him before _– the blonde woman was blinking rapidly, staring straight ahead, looking like an animal in Freeze Mode that wasn't sure whether to fight or flight. Finally, Sheldon spoke, apparently deciding that it was better to ignore the reason for the silence and go back to a point where he felt comfortable. Or rather, _more_ comfortable. "Hi," he said to the woman.

"Hi," she responded.

"Hi," Leonard blurted out.

She nodded. "Hi."

"I'm Leonard," Leonard said, reaching his hand out as he walked across the hall. "This is Sheldon. We live across the hall in separate heterosexual bedrooms."

"Hi," she said hesitantly, taking his hand and giving it a hard shake. "Penny. I guess I'm your new neighbor. And…" she trailed off, rubbing her TiMER with the thumb of her other hand nervously, "apparently…" she shook her head, "whatever else."

"If it makes this situation somewhat less awkward," Sheldon said, "I think the whole TiMER thing is complete tomfoolery."

"Sheldon," Leonard said warningly. "So," he said to Penny, "welcome to the building."

"Oh, yeah, thank you," she said. She cleared her throat. "I…I have a lot…a lot to, to unpack, so…" she gestured to her boxes. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you," she said, giving a little laugh, "TiMER buddy."

"I'm sure!" Leonard said, smiling broadly.

"Okay," she said. "Well, bye."

"Bye," Leonard and Sheldon chorused as she shut the door.

"Okay," Leonard said. "It's a good day." He reached in his pocket and took out his inhaler again.

* * *

Penny closed the door and turned her back to it, sliding down to a sitting position and putting her hands to her face. "Oh my _Go-o-od…_" she moaned.

She'd gotten her TiMER on her fourteenth birthday, just like everyone else. It still had four years to count down when she'd met Kurt – and his TiMER had been and still was blank – but she'd fallen for him so hard that she'd decided that it didn't matter. She loved him, and he loved her, and screw what those little machines said. She and Kurt were going to be together forever.

Then had come the unusually slow day at work, the unexpected afternoon off, the other girl in the bed Kurt and Penny had shared since she was eighteen. The shouting, the throwing of any object that wasn't bolted down, the pleas for forgiveness, the deaf ears. In all the confusion and anguish that had engulfed Penny in the past two weeks, she'd completely forgotten that her TiMER had been reaching zero. She knew that at midnight last night it had reached that zero, the sign that the next day she'd make eye contact with her soulmate.

Then it had shocked her by going off – for a guy who must be a bit shorter than her, with obvious social awkwardness, glasses, and a roommate who was wearing one of those superhero tee shirts. Leonard – whose last name she didn't know but would apparently share one day – was not even close to the kind of guy that she usually went out with. And suddenly, after her whole world had been shaken to the core, after the last thing she wanted was to assume that something was a guarantee and risk being hurt again, her TiMER told her that yes, without a doubt, _this_ was who she belonged with.

And the whole thing just freaked her out.

**As in the movie, people do not automatically fall in love when their TiMERs go off. Rather it just tells them - like a scarily accurate fortune teller - who they will fall in love with.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This chapter is just giving people a bit more info on the TiMERs, the other characters' TiMER situations will be explored more later on, just intro-ing them here. The next chapter will have Penny meeting Raj and Howard.**

"Hang on," Wolowitz said, muting the Hawking lecture and putting down the remote. "Your TiMER went off for someone hot?"

"Like the temperature water boils at on the Kelvin scale," Leonard said, "but on the Celsius scale."

"Lucky son of a bitch," he mumbled.

"She's a little taller than me," Leonard said, "blonde hair, really pretty eyes…actually, really pretty everything."

"Ah, see, that's it," Howard said. "I was thinking that she'd be hot _and_ shorter than you. I guess it's not so perfect after all."

"Oh yeah?" Leonard said, "and who do you guys have, exactly?"

"Hey, the future Mrs. Wolowitz could be right around the corner," he said. "I just don't know she's coming because I don't have a TiMER."

"My TiMER is blank," Raj said. "I could meet her tomorrow too, but I wouldn't know it because she doesn't have one."

"Howard's girl, whether she has a TiMER or not, would not only not know that he's her one, but she'd actively think he isn't, because of that pathetic piece of crap," Leonard said, gesturing to the device on Howard's wrist.

"This thing," Howard said, pointing to the fake TiMER, "is getting me much more laid than any of the rest of you."

"I'd like to go on record saying that when it comes to the laid you are getting," Sheldon said, "I, quite frankly, don't care."

"That fake TiMER is just taking advantage of women who think your time is running out," Leonard said. "So there's no strings attached."

"Yes, Leonard, I know that," Howard said. "And you should try it. It'd help you unwind a bit."

"For one thing," Leonard said, "I can't get a fake one because I have a real one, and for another, mine has already run out. Mrs. Hofstadter is right across the hall."

"Well then," Howard said, "Invite her over for dinner."

Leonard frowned, second guessing his actions earlier in the day. "Should we have invited her for lunch?" he asked Sheldon.

"No," Sheldon said. "And it's a bit late for that now. You know I can't waste my time on what might have been."

"Well, I suppose it doesn't matter anyway," Leonard said. "We belong together!" He smiled and stuck his chin in the air. "I'm going to go and ask her to come over for dinner."

"Do you want us to leave?" Howard asked.

"Why would we leave?" Raj asked.

Howard ignored him and focused on Leonard. "Are you anticipating coitus?"

Leonard blinked. "No. We hardly know each other. Why would I want to start my relationship with my soul mate with meaningless sex?"

"Leonard, if you're going to end up together anyway, why does it matter? If she's hot, just go for it. And hey, this is the best way to get a hot girl into bed. 'Hey, we belong together, now the sooner we start doing it…the more we get to do it. Just go over there, and hit that thang."

"You're disgusting," Leonard said.

Howard blinked. "I'm a romantic."

"Stop acting all high and mighty," Raj said to the experimental physicist. "You know you're thrilled to death that she's hot."

Leonard allowed a smile to come over his face. "Little bit."

He marched across the hall and knocked on the door. He saw motion near the door and straightened his hoodie. He wondered if that was weird. He couldn't screw this up – it was impossible. He and Penny were meant to be together.

He knocked again when she didn't answer, and this time, the door opened. She gave him a nervous smile. "Hi."

"Hi," he said. "I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner."

"Oh," she said, starting to wring her hands. "I…I actually kinda have plans…for dinner."

"Oh yeah?" Leonard said. "Oh. Okay." He began to nod, and found Penny nodding along with him. Then he looked back up at her. "I'm your soul mate. Have dinner with me."

"Look, Leonard," she said taking a step toward him. "There's no need to rush into anything. These TiMERs don't tell us when we're supposed to…be…come an item." She was motioning with her hands again. "It just means that we…will."

"I'm following," Leonard said, nodding.

"So…we don't need to jump right into anything." She nodded as if she'd said that the way she'd wanted to. "Why don't we just try being friends first? Rushing relationships…you just don't know, you know? I suppose even if…" her hand went to her TiMER, "if you do know. Somehow." She nodded. "I think friends first is better. That way, it can happen naturally. Like it's supposed to."

"Okay," Leonard said. "Do you want to come to dinner?"

She looked agitated. "Stop pressuring me!"

She'd said it as if she'd known him for years. That threw Leonard off, and he stumbled over his next words. "There will be three other people there. It's not a date."

He wasn't sure if he'd expected that to relax her, but for some reason it did. "Get to know each other in a group environment, sure, sure."

"Okay then," Leonard said. "We'll have Chinese food in about a half hour, so…"

"Okay!" she said. She gave a little laugh and smiled at him. "I'd like that. Really."

"Yeah?" Leonard said, smiling. "Okay then. I'll see you in a half hour."

"Okay," Penny said, nodding. "Okay."

"Sounds good," Leonard said, smiling. He lingered another moment, looking at her. "I don't know what your ex did to you," he told her, "but I'm not going to."

She gave him a tight smile. "I'd like to think my TiMER would tell me I belong with a liar and a cheater, so good to know."


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry this hasn't been updated in a while! I am moved into my apartment for the year, so expect fairly regular updates now! :) **

**For those of you who want to see Shamy in this fic…it will be here, maybe sooner than it would in the show, but not quite yet.**

**Oh, and yeah, the whole not owning anything thing is still a thing.**

"Penny," Leonard said, "this is Raj Koothrapali."

"Oh," Penny said, giving him a little wave. "Do you work with Leonard and Sheldon?" Leonard wondered how she'd guessed that they did all in fact work together.

Raj took a few steps back.

Penny glanced uneasily at Leonard. "I'm sorry," she said. "Do…do you speak English?"

"Oh, he speaks English," Howard said, coming over from the fridge. "He just can't speak to women."

"Really!" Penny said, fascinated by the concept. "Why?"

Howard looked as if the answer was obvious. "He's kind of a nerd."

Penny nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable. "Ah."

"Do you want to sit down?" Leonard asked, gesturing to the couch.

"Oh, yes, thank you," Penny said.

"Little tip," Leonard whispered. "Don't sit on the left end of the couch."

Penny looked confused. "Why?"

"That's where Sheldon sits," Howard and Leonard said together. Raj nodded in agreement.

"Someday, when you're feeling really bored, ask him to explain why," Leonard told her.

Penny gave a small laugh. "Okay." She sat down in the white chair. Leonard dragged up a chair from the kitchen area and sat next to her. Howard passed out the food.

"So," Leonard said, as Sheldon came back into the room, "tell us about you, Penny."

"Oh," Penny put her food down. "Okay, well, this might be a little TMI, but I'm a Saggitarius."

Leonard furrowed his brow. "What's TMI?"

"Good!" Penny said, smiling as if they'd shared a joke.

"I believe he's seriously asking what TMI stands for," Sheldon said. "We are not familiar with urban slang, and I doubt you are referring to the Tauber Manufacturing Institute, Three Mile Island, or the Episcopal School of Texas, formerly the Texas Military Institute, or the TMI."

Penny stared at him. "Um…" She cocked her head. "TMI stands for 'too much information'."

Raj whispered something into Howard's ear. "If you knew that, then get over yourself and say so!" he snapped.

"So, Saggitarius," Leonard said.

"Well, you know, that's probably way more than you need to know," she said.

"Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the Sun's apparent position relevant to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality," Sheldon said.

There was an awkward silence. Leonard cleared his throat. "I would have thought you were a water sign."

Penny looked both incredulous and pleased. "I get that a lot!"

Leonard hoped his relief at saying the right thing by complete chance wasn't evident on his face.

"So, what do you guys do for fun around here?" she asked.

"You know," Leonard said, "we're scientists, so we're pretty busy, but we do enjoy movies, Chinese food…"

"Klingon Boggle, Traitors, Mystic Warlords of Ka-a," Sheldon rattled off.

Penny blinked, and then looked at Leonard. "Klingon Boggle?"

"Yeah," he said. "It's just like regular Boggle, but in Klingon."

She stared. "And…and Traitors?"

"A game I invented," Sheldon said. "You name three traitors, and the other person has to guess which one was the biggest offender. Like say, Darth Vader, Judas, or Rupert Murdoch."

Penny frowned. "Rupert Murdoch?"

"He owns FOX, and they cancelled Firefly," Leonard explained.

"So I take it he and Darth Vader are tied for second?" Penny asked.

Sheldon looked confused. "Judas betrayed one person. Darth Vader destroyed the Jedi Order, inadvertently killed his wife, and tried to kill his best friend with his own blade. Rupert Murdoch has provided much of the data that can be used to analyze how long people can hold a grudge when someone has attached them to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helicly around an axis."

Penny blinked. "I see." She turned and looked at Leonard, who mouthed _he's crazy_ and bugged his eyes out. She giggled in spite of herself.

The rest of the meal continued with minimal conversation, but Penny smiled at Leonard as she stood up after finishing. "This was fun, but I gotta get back. Unpacking, you know." She cleared her throat. "Thanks for explaining those games to me, Sheldon…they were very interesting. Though I think I'm glad I didn't ask about Mystic Warlords of Ka."

"It's Ka-a." Howard corrected her as she walked to the door.

She turned. "Buh-eye."

"Wait, wait!" Leonard said. He'd stood up when Penny did, and now took a step toward the door. "Did you want to hang out…with us, all of us, not just me, all of us…sometime again?"

Penny looked as if she was thinking. "I'm having a Halloween party on Friday, just some friends of mine from work. If you wanted to come. All of you," she clarified.

"We'd love that!" Leonard said, nodding. "Right, guys?"

"Oh yeah, totally, we'll come, uh-huh," they all blurted, sounding as if they'd been put on the spot.

"Alright," Raj said, nodding once the door was shut. "She seems pretty cool."

"Right?" Leonard said, grinning.

"I don't like her," Sheldon said. "She didn't know who Rupert Murdoch is."

"That's not a Cardinal Sin," Leonard said.

"Well, I suppose if you're willing to accept her, then it's fine that she isn't aware of the biggest betrayal in television history."

"I think you're lucky that TiMERs exist," Howard said. "There is no way in the entire universe that she would end up with you without them."

"Excuse me," Leonard said, "TiMERs do not tell you something that you wouldn't end up figuring out anyway. It's a confirmation of what we'd find anyway, we just know in advance."

"I'm with Wolowitz on this one," Sheldon said. "These devices are hokum."

Howard and Raj glanced at each other. "Alright," the former said, smiling slowly. "Prove it."

Sheldon looked confused. "I don't follow."

"Get a TiMER. Meet who it says is your soulmate. And don't fall in love with her."

Sheldon looked as if he was considering the suggestion. Then he gave a snort. "I know you only have a master's degree- " Howard rolled his eyes " – so I'm going to make my answer is simplistic as possible. No."

Raj shook his head. "Don't worry, Sheldon. We'll know for sure if they work if Leonard makes it with that pretty girl across the hall."

"Of course we're going to make it!" Leonard said. "We're going to fall passionately in love, get married, and spend the rest of our lives together. Because TiMERs work."

"Well, there is one big question," Howard said. "People meet, their TiMERs go off, and they know they're supposed to be together, and so most of them don't fight it. The controversy over the TiMERs is, are people making them a self-fulfilling prophecy? And if so, what will happen if someone actively works against having a relationship with the person their TiMER went off for, because they're afraid?"


	4. Chapter 4

**All I can say about the delay in updating is "life happens." I will be better at it from here on out. This chapter is based largely on the first part of The Middle Earth Paradigm, and it will continue in the next chapter. Also note, I will jump around. I may write direct references to a season four episode and then directly reference season one again - if it doesn't matter where the things happened to the story I'm trying to tell, it's fair game to show up anywhere, or not at all.**

* * *

"I still do not see why we couldn't have just walked behind each other all night and been one person going really fast," Raj complained. "But no no no, Raj had to go back and dress up as Thor and then get his hammer stuck in the door on the bus."

"And now we're going to be late," Sheldon said, adjusting his costume.

"We won't be that late," Leonard said. "It's seven thirty."

"And the party starts at seven," Sheldon protested.

"And people just started getting here, so it's fine," Leonard said, adjusting one of his Hobbit ears.

"How do you know that?" Howard asked.

"He's been looking through the peep hole at the hallway," Sheldon said. "If you want to see, fly over there and look yourself."

"For the last time," Howard said, adjusting his fake TiMER, "I am not Peter Pan. I'm Robin Hood."

"The first hot girl that calls you Peter Pan will magically transform the costume into Peter Pan," Leonard said.

"Hey, the Wolowitz's are adaptable," Howard said. "It's why I'm still here."

"A very Darwinian argument," Sheldon said, patting Howard on the back. "Actual scientists would approve."

"Come on," Leonard said impatiently. "Let's go. It's seven thirty."

"How far you plan on getting with Penny tonight?" Howard asked.

"I'm not planning anything," Leonard said. "I've had one conversation with her after that first day. And she's still really backing up on the whole TiMER subject."

"You know how it is with women," Howard said.

"No I don't," Leonard said. "And neither do you!"

"Can we just go already?" Raj said. "It's seven thirty."

"It is seven thirty," Sheldon said. "Leonard, we're late. Talk about your potential future sex life at another time."

* * *

"Are you guys having a good time?" Penny asked, coming over to Sheldon and Leonard.

Sheldon and Leonard were not having a good time. Their original interactions with the blonde girl dressed up as a cat had been awkward at best. After stammering over greetings, two corny lines from Howard, and Raj's wave with the hand he held the hammer in that resulted in nearly knocking Penny's door side table over, the four of them had broken off, Howard making a beeline for the closest female, Raj scooting over to the food, and Sheldon and Leonard wandering awkwardly around the room, attempting to socialize. Sheldon had complained that the punch hadn't been refilled. Somehow, they'd ended up standing behind Penny's couch, and Leonard had a feeling that she had come up to them out of pity.

"Given the reaction to my costume," Sheldon said, "this party is a scathing indictment of the American education system."

"Well, I…" Penn cleared her throat. "You make a lovely Doppler Effect."

Sheldon smiled, only briefly distracted from the girl filling the punch bowl. "Thank you, Penny!" He turned to Leonard. "Your match isn't as dumb as she looks. I'm going to get punch." He scooted away.

"You know the Doppler Effect?" Leonard asked.

"God no" Penny said, balancing her wine glass on the back of the couch as she filled it. "I heard him explaining it to my friend Cheryl. Your friend Howard tried hitting on her too. She got to pulling her pepper spray out before he darted away."

"He's got this saying," Leonard said. "That love is not a sprint, it's a marathon. A relentless pursuit that only ends when she falls into your arms, or hits you with the pepper spray."

Penny coughed. "You're kidding."

"You can't make that stuff up," Leonard said. "Well, he can."

"Gosh, it's so creepy, though!" Penny said. "And kinda pathetic, if you ask me. He'll never meet anyone if he tries so hard. Or, from what I've seen of him, at all."

"Well, we can watch him in action," Leonard said nodding to the other side of the room.

* * *

"If that's a working stethoscope, maybe you'd like to hear my heart skip a beat," Howard said to the girl dressed up as a nurse.

The blonde girl looked disgusted. "Oh my God, do you seriously think that's a line?"

"It's funny because you actually _can_" Howard said. "I have transient idiopathic arrhythmia."

The girl's expression implied that she thought Howard should be flattered that she let herself look at him for another second before raising her eyebrows and turning away. Howard cocked his head. "Hey now," he said. "You're dressed as a nurse, shouldn't that be an interesting topic for you?" He touched his chest. "Heart problems! Isn't that right in your wheelhouse?"

"I'm a microbiology student for my day job," the girl said. "So not so much."

"Microbiology, huh?" Howard said. "So…you could study me."

The girl blinked. "I don't understand."

"Microbiology is the study of tiny living things."

The girl let out an impatient breath. "I know. I'm studying it."

Howard wrung his hands. "And I said you could study me because I'm a tiny living thing." There was a silence. "It's a joke."

The girl cocked her head. "Are you sure?"

* * *

"Oh my God," Penny said to Leonard. "That is literally the most awkward conversation I've ever heard."

"Sadly, this is Howard doing pretty well," Leonard said. "Who is that girl, anyway?"

"Oh, her name's Bernadette. She's paying for her own grad school by waitressing at The Cheesecake Factory."

"Oh, wow," Leonard said. "Is her TiMER running low?" he asked. "Because that's the only reason that I can see her still talking to Howard."

"Oh it's so sad," Penny said. "Hers is blank. She's been talking about taking it out, but then you can never get it re-inserted. And you never know when her soulmate might decide that he wants to get one. _Potential soulmate,_" she corrected, taking a sip of her wine.

Leonard frowned at her word choice. "They do have a ninety eight percent accuracy rate."

"So claim those pregnancy tests you can get at the pharmacy," Penny said. "Those things were wrong for my sister three times."

"Your sister has three kids?" Leonard said.

"No, just one. I've got a twelve year old nephew. He's currently living with my parents on account of my sister being on probation for shooting her husband."

Leonard blinked in surprise.

"Oh," Penny said, waving her hand dismissively, "it was an accident. They were drunk."

"Ah." There was a long pause. "I should probably…get around to talking to people," Penny said. "I hope you'll have a good rest of the night." She took a few steps away, then turned back around. "Any tips I can give Bernadette on Howard?"

"Well, he's an aerospace engineer, he speaks six languages…"

"Six languages!" Penny said. "Wow!"

"Well, six if you count Klingon."

"Girls don't count Klingon, Leonard."

"Five languages, then. And he has an unhealthy attachment to his mother, but you might want to leave one delightful surprise for her. And he doesn't have a TiMER. So he might be her soulmate."

Penny looked at him a long moment. "You really believe in that stuff, don't you?"

He looked down for a moment before returning his eyes to hers. "I really do."

"And that doesn't…scare you?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

She shrugged. "I don't know…listen, I have to go catch up. Talk later?"

Leonard nodded, feeling disappointed. "Sure. Later." He nodded, looking down again, wondering if he'd made things worse by bringing up the TiMERs. He turned his head back in her direction. "Friends first!" he shouted. It's the way to go!" She didn't look back at him. _Attaboy, Leonard. The best way to make friends is to let the person know that you're trying to be friends with them. That's just a less intense version of the pressure put on by the TiMERs._

Leonard went over to the kitchen area and helped himself to some of the snack food, glancing at the door every few seconds waiting for Penny to walk in. Instead, he got the privilege of watching Raj and a girl dressed as a ladybug walk out.

Then he got an even better present – Penny walking back into her apartment with a tall, muscular man with the kind of smile that the bullys had right before they threw the smart kid into the dumpster.

If that wasn't Penny's ex – boyfriend Kurt, Leonard's middle name wasn't Leakey.

**So now we have Bernadette as the "sexy nurse" from The Middle Earth Paradigm. I included original dialogue from her first conversation with Howard, but I wrote her as the more feisty, fierce character we know today, as opposed to the quietly shy girl we saw in The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary. The reason I did this is because he met her in a setting where she was expecting to be hit on by creepy guys, not on a blind date, when things are always a little shy and awkward.**

**And something a character said in this chapter will come back to haunt them later on. If you have any guesses, feel free to include them in your reviews!**


End file.
